May 3, 2009 - Rants/Ramblings    Comments Off on Something Terrible

Something Terrible

Something terrible has been happening to me lately. I’ve noticed differences in my mind, taste, and body that are impossible to ignore.

It’s changing.

In general, I HATE CHANGE with a vengeance. But this change seems to be something my body wants to do, and therefore is enforcing on me without my real knowing.

Last year, a week before my birthday I started getting some very uncomfortable heart burn. I narrowed it down to the Diet Coke I was drinking. I gave it up for a day and the next day it returned when I lovingly took the first long gulp of my morning (hell, all day) addiction.

It was devastating. Diet Coke (or Pepsi) was drank in my home growing up more than any other liquid, even water. I wouldn’t call my parents bad for letting us drink that much soda, just as I don’t call parents bad for giving their pre-teens coffee. It’s just something that happens. Product of our environment in an over stimulated world. But I loved my Diet Coke, oh so much. Several cans a day so much. I was then stuck drinking juice, water and tea.

Now I noticed something else. I always knew that caffeine and sugar got me wired. During the early shifts (starting at 5:00am) at work, if I needed a boost I would gab a bottle of soda and a sugar covered donut. Look out world, there she goes. On that combination I could get through paperwork stacks that were in fact taller than my bottle of soda.

After giving up soda I drank primarily tea, water and juice. In that order. I was trying to get my body off of the soda/caffeine craving with the tea, especially since I would get very nasty migraines and cluster-migraines.

Ever had a cluster-migraine? The best description I have for one is someone taking an ice pick, jabbing it into your skull and wiggling it. They only last about 30 seconds at most but can be the most painful thing you experience. All you can do is close your eyes and try not to cry until it passes. To try and discourage pain is the only reason I started drinking tea.

Now I like tea, but if its black it needs to have a little bit of cream and sugar added to it. If I’m drinking my favorite Chai, it MUST have vanilla sugar added. But lately I haven’t been drinking tea. After my brush with the “death flu” (yeah a little over exaggeration there) I didn’t drink it so much. I almost forgot about the whole drawer stuffed with tea.

Now if I have any tea I’m flying off the walls like an over-caffeinated 2-year old. I have become super sensitive to caffeine and sugar. Crap.

Some times your body and spirit decide something for you without your consent. This seems to be one of those times. Almost like the time my spirit decided I needed to start baking my own bread and stop buying it.

I would just like to at least have a say in change? Please?

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