And now work is changing my schedule yet again, hopefully only temporary, so that means some really early morning. Like having to be at work at 5am to train someone early.

This is not something I like and really doesn’t put me in a good mood.

Plus getting up that early in the morning to be able to get to work and still be able to function means changing what time I get to sleep. Sleep has always been an issue for me but has gotten better once I stopped drinking caffeine and eating a lot of sugar. It also helped that my schedule was finally regulated at a consistent and not too terrible time.

But now that my schedule is changing yet again, I need to figure out how to cope with the early schedule. I know I can survive if I started drinking soda again, but that doesn’t make me feel so great. Plus it gives me heartburn. It really isn’t so great to have that happen while trying to concentrate at work.

I’ve also thought that maybe the caffeine is what has triggered the migraines that I used to suffer from. I would get terrible cluster migraines as well as regular migraines that would last days. But now I’m not sure if that really is the case. I’ve drank some soda and had a Chai Tea Latte from Starbucks recently without having any problems.

So I’ve been considering starting to drink caffeinated tea again instead of just herbal, at least just in the morning with this stupid schedule change.

I worry though, that the headaches will return and give me problems again. I’ve been doing so good over the past year without the crippling pain that I’m almost afraid to start drinking them again.

Sometimes I just don’t know what to do to help me get through the day and not give me pain.

I’m trying to move forward and not backward, dagnabit!

It could also be the hormones.

For so long I’ve been taking the “easy” path of just doing a job that I happen to be good at and not something I actually want to get up and do on a daily basis. Or eating foods out of convenience (fast food, pre-packaged foods) rather than spending the time to take a minute or two for myself to throw something together.

I mean really, how long does it actually take to throw together a quick dinner of an easy sandwich or something similar? Not long. It probably takes longer to get to a fast food place to get the food than it does to make it yourself.

Plus it doesn’t taste nearly as good as homemade and it generally makes me feel like crap.

So I need a change in my life.

I’ve wanted to try and go through life “unpackaged” with using as few foods that are prepackaged or processed as possible. I’ve gotten pretty close to it lately with all of the wonderful fresh fruits and vegetables that are now in season and boy are they delicious!

I like the idea of knowing exactly what it is that I’m eating and what I’m putting in my body, especially with all my interesting reactions to food (some allergies).

I know I’m eventually going to change my job into something else, but I have to find out whether or not the field I’m thinking about is even something I want to do every day. I’m not a person who likes change but I really need to change something.

I’ll get there eventually. Who knows, maybe I’ll become a professional blogger. Ha.

I can tell you right now that statement is an understatement. A huge, massive, epic understatement. And I know most kids go through stages when they wouldn’t eat things because… they’re kids and just don’t. But man, I was a pain in the ass.

Seriously.

I think I went through a phase where I wouldn’t eat spaghetti.

Then there was the phase where the only thing I would eat was spaghetti.

I’m still difficult. To me pasta is still a food group, but I’m trying to change. I’m working on expanding my food life to include all the things that never ate growing up (well, within reason and excluding allergy foods). Baby steps… Just baby steps.

Do you realize that I never had tried a cherry? A real fresh cherry. Never. It actually was to the point where I didn’t know there were different types of cherries, different flavors, or even that they had a big seed in the middle.

Sad yes?

For weeks I saw these stands on the side of the road selling cherries, and I finally got the nerve to have the husband stop the car so I could go buy some cherries.

I did it, I bought some cherries. Two types actually. A sweet, blush/yellow cherry and some dark red ones. I really couldn’t believe how delicious they are! The dark ones are deeper in flavor, have a small amount of bite to them while the blush/yellow ones are sweet and almost grape-like.

I easily went through the two small baskets quickly. I then decided to go back and get two larger baskets.

I ate all of them.

It took me about a week but i finished all but a few of them. I had them every day, a few for breakfast and then a big bowl of them with lunch. I didn’t do any cooking with them, I ate them all fresh. I think I am cherried out for a while.

It’s probably a good thing that the cherry stands are now gone, since I don’t want to burn out on them.

But oh boy, they are delicious.

Sadly it’s also given me cooking block.

I’m used to writers block or creative block, but cooking block is a new one for me. Either I cook something and it’s just “eh” or I do something and it just doesn’t come out looking right.

For the last few years I’ve almost felt like a cooking super hero. Every time I make something for friends they say they love it, I get rave reviews from work for my baked goods. It makes me feel rather awesome when I can just whip something up and it is just awesomeness.

Now it just feels like those powers have left me lately. I was doing great for the first month or so of the year, baking my first cake from scratch, experimenting with new ways of making breads without yeast, picking something up at the store that I’ve never eaten before and seeing what I can do with it….

I feel like Clark Kent and I just got beat with the kryptonite stick.

Now it’s my second batch of flat cookies and I don’t know what to do with myself. It was a double batch so I could make some ice cream cookies and still have some regular cookies around.

Now all I have is a large batch of flat cookies sitting on my counter.

Mocking me.

Mocking me and my dead cooking abilities.

Bastards…

I don’t know where I went wrong with this recipe. I’ve made it before and it turned out wonderful! It made some awesome ice cream sandwiches, but this time something happened and I’m not sure what.

I’ve tried:

• Changing pans. Going from a half sheet pan to a flat cookie sheet with no sides.
• Lowering the temp on my oven by 25F.
• Cooking for less time.
• Chilling the dough after scooping before baking.
• Chilling the dough before scooping.
• Making sure my pans are room temp before putting the parchment of dough on it.

But they all turned out pretty much the same. I’m really at a loss here.

What in the world happened to me?

Or it’s as though I look at a quilting project, full of needles and other such poking things and my inner toddler becomes giddy and squeals “I am on pins and needles!!!”

And yes that does happen. Often.

But I digress, my self imposed radio silence is ending. I finally feel as though I’m in enough control of life that I can come back and start talking again.

Because you know I’m from the generation who loves nothing more than to hear themselves talk and document their life. Well not really, I’m actually quite shy, but I’ll take that excuse to talk to the unseen masses anyways.

I’ve been busy in my absence though, baking, cooking, drinking (gasp!) and finding ways to get through the rough second half of 2009. I did take up drinking sometime after my radio silence, as a way to forcibly make myself relax.

It strikes me as funny that I refer to taking up drinking as having more than one wine cooler in a 3 month period. The real shocker was when it turned into two in one night. Husband had fun with me at that point.

I feel as though 2010 is a turning point for the Husband and myself. New ventures, new surprises, new…life.

This was also the first time I ever had a blast on New Years, celebrating the event with friends and chocolate shots.

And then much laughter when my friend realized we were doing one more shot to celebrate… And she had already started eating her chocolate shot glass.

Too much laughter to get a clear shot. Happy New Year everyone.

Well I think I got just a little too inspired the other day in my cooking conquests.

I made 3 different meals, and enough to feed an army as well. I really do have this really annoying habit of not being able to cook for 2 people easily.

This time I made Un-Stuffed Bell Pepper, Beef Stew/Chili, and Balsamic Chicken Pasta.

Very motivated.

Very crazy.

Very dirty kitchen.

I guess I was hungry.

I made a total of 19 meals. Holy crap that’s a lot of food. I could have very easily just had a party and fed the entire block.

I need a nap just looking at all that.

So the other morning I was chopping my apple for work and I saw what looked like a worm in the core. When I finally focused my eyes I realized that it wasn’t a worm, but a seed that had started to grow inside the apple!

I would have gotten a picture of the little seed but like I said, I wasn’t awake. It was 5 am, give me a break.

I did though put it in a pot I had in the kitchen, so I’m really hoping that it’ll grow and be a big strong tree! The last time I tried this, the little seedling died after a while, so hopefully my black thumb wont come in to play here.

Between helping get things together for the party, and getting myself together for the party, plus work, it didn’t leave much room for the relaxation part or time to blog part.

Going to parties are very stressful for me, this party especially because I had never cooked food for a party not my own before. Since this party was my friend’s idea and all of her friends/family, she had ultimate say. Plus me… at a party of people I don’t know? Scary. My agoraphobia was trying to rear its ugly head but since it was a pretty laid back party it wasn’t as bad.

I also find going into someone else’s house and cooking in their kitchen to be stressful. I know how obsessive I can be about my kitchen that going into someone else’s is rather intimidating for me.

We did make a whole lot of food though. There was spinach artichoke dip, fresh made salsa, grilled toquitos, green salad, tuna salad, grilled marinated brown sugar-soy chicken, 2 lemon-raspberry cakes, and peanut butter cookies. I also made a batch of peanut butter dog cookies.

Why dog cookies? Well the whole “reason” for the party was because of my friend’s dog. It was his birthday. He just turned 15. In reality the dog was just an excuse to have a party.

I didn’t take that many pictures, I was in a house I didn’t know, with people I didn’t know. I’m not the type of person to greet people by sticking a camera in their face. I’d be more apt to run away and hide.

But one of my good friends was there, and she cracks me up. Mostly because she tends to moan in ecstasy when she eats my food. That’s one of the best compliments I think. Its rather entertaining when she takes a bite of food and starts moaning and telling me how good it is. I think shes rather biased though. Biased but entertaining.

Plus I made one of her favorite things. Spinach Artichoke Dip. I think she would just sit down and eat it with a spoon if given the chance. It also happened to be one of the things that got the most compliments. Several people said how nice and mild mine was, compared to store bought brands that have a lot of garlic or a very strong, almost sour artichoke taste. Mine is smooth, creamy and delicious!

All in all it was a really fun party. Part of me would love to go into the catering business but I think I’ll just stick with my cute little blog and write about the yummies I make.

Women.

Beer.

And bacon.

And I’m really not quite sure about the order of that list either. Especially since I asked him if all he needs are boobs, beer and bacon. His answer was “You’re all I’ll ever need” and then gazed longingly at the bacon as it cooked in the pan and gave me a kiss on the shoulder.

This has got to be the one smell that will always bring the Husband running. He loves bacon, so do I, but we rarely have it at home. It has to be the most dangerous meat we have in the house. Once it’s cooking, you know within 30 minutes it will generally be gone. Neither of us can resist.

It was especially dangerous since I decided to make different flavors of dog treats for my pup. I think after a while she might get sick of eating only peanut butter ones. This time I decided to make bacon ones. Similar to the ones I’ve made before but this time with bits of crunchy bacon in it.

This meant of course I had to buy some bacon. I also knew I had to buy two pounds of it since one had to go to the recipe and Husband would pout and steal bacon from the dogs recipe if I didn’t buy him some also.

That’s right. He’s male, he would steal bacon from his beloved dog. He just can’t help himself.

But then again I can understand the lure.

Who could resist the lure of bacon? The wonderfully salty meat, that cooks itself in its own fat it drips from itself. I love bacon that is almost deep fried in its own fat. Crispy and melts in your mouth, bacon is my favorite meat.

That’s happened to me this past week. I’ve been stressing out severely about getting my blood drawn for the first time in 8 years. Now to normal people this isn’t a big deal, but to a needle-phobic… It’s a huge and terrifying thing. Too many bad, bad experiences…

So while I was trying to get through the neurotic stress of waiting for the time to come where my schedule will allow for it, I found other ways to occupy myself.

I’ve been “adopted” by my husbands Grandma, which is pretty awesome since I haven’t had one in my life since I was about…12? If that.

What’s awesome is that she likes sending me recipes in the mail. Not even like links in email. She’s old school. Its clippings from the newspaper and magazines.

Granted some of those on top are the food section to one of the local papers here, but still the most are from her.

Who can complain about the inspiration and different techniques that can be found in news papers or other random places? Its awesome! I didn’t actually realize how much I had until I started pulling it all out.

I haven’t made any of the recipes yet, shame. But then again I haven’t made any of the recipes that I’ve clipped myself, double shame.

I do have to admit there is one part about it all that is my favorite. Notice all the little post-its and little notes paper clipped to some of the pages? Those are from Grandma. It makes me smile that she likes to write little notes, its just another one of those things that makes me feel squishy inside because she thought about me enough to write me a little note and put it in the mail.

That’s right Grandma.